On Love and Paddling

It’s Valentines Day today. Now I’m not all that touchy-feely, and I’m one of those people who is torn on the idea of this “holiday”. But then again, it is a good excuse to show the ones you care about how you feel. So just like any holiday where you’re supposed to do something (i.e. buy something), if done with the right intentions, why not? (Incidentally, did your mom make you give Valentines to everyone in your class? As a kid I found that weird, and embarrassing. I mean, I did NOT want to give the wrong impression – especially to that girl who always wanted to sit beside me during reading time. But at least if everyone got one, the implication of something more isn’t there. That said, I do remember making sure a couple of girls got one just slightly bigger than the others. But I digress….)

This isn’t a website about holidays or love or candy, so I’m going to talk about love from a tripping perspective. Whether it’s romantic or parental or even just a strong bond with someone – or a furry friend for that matter – there are plenty of ways love is expressed out in the back-country. Here are just some of the ways I’ve experienced, witnessed or listened to in stories:

Love Is:

• … Quietly keeping the canoe straight for a new paddler, telling them their doing just fine when asked.
• … Letting someone think they’re doing a great job keeping you straight.
• … Compliments, even when “it’s not a big deal”.
• … Sneaking some of the heavier items into your own pack.
• … Staying up late the night before a trip to prepare some special treat.
• … Offering up the last bit of chocolate when the treats have been exhausted.
• … “You first.”
• … “I’ll go first.”
• … Slaving over a campfire to make an elaborate meal.
• … Telling someone you like it better burnt.
• … Offering to do the dishes.
• … Buying someone a piece of gear that makes their trip a little more comfortable – or even fashionable.
• … Getting into the canoe from the muddy spot.
• … Not laughing, no matter how hard that might be, and no matter how dirty/wet/ungraceful someone got.
• … Smiling.
• … Bringing some things you normally might not on a portage trip.

• … Lying about how your side of the tent is soft enough when one of the sleeping pads deflate.
• … What I got, I said remember that. (Sorry, I hate that song too, but it got in my head writing this.)
• … Taking an extra shift driving home.
• … Resisting every urge to fall asleep so you can keep the driver company.
• … Asking for directions, you know, just to be sure.
• … Telling someone they’re even more pretty/handsome dirty and natural.
• … Telling someone they don’t smell that bad at all.
• … Making sure someone’s little face is clean the whole trip, no matter how an uphill battle it seems to be.
• … Being vocally impressed by how someone carried that little, but obviously quite heavy bag, almost the whole length of a portage.
• … Bringing a lot more “Gummy” food items than you would normally.
• … Being the one who steps up and says it’s time to rest.
• … Sharing body heat with a plugged nose.
• … Band aids with Spiderman on them.
• … Standing guard but out of site of the privy.
• … Watching a sunset with an arm around the shoulders and a head against a chest.
• … Checking to see if it was a bear, when you are certain it was a squirrel.
• … Not saying “I told you so” and packing an extra rain coat.
• … That look across the campfire. It’s even better when light is flickering.
• … A welcome home hug, even when it goes against every instinct.

… And of course,  love is, most of all, wanting to share great experiences together.

Nancy Postscript

One of the funniest experiences I’ve had with Nancy was on our very first portage trip, shortly after adopting her from the SPCA. We had known each other for less than 10 months by this point and I think finally at a point where she truly started to trust me. It was late September and on one of those really cold spells that happen – you know the kind, where you freeze your butt off for 2 days only to be sweating (off whatever you still have of that same butt) for the next 2 days from all the extra gear you had to bring for the cold. Anyway, Nancy and I had a problem the first day getting out on the water, so we instead drove out to our property in South River to camp out the night and try again in the morning. It was freezing (!) that night. As we lied in the tent, Nancy could not stop shivering, but strangely, kept herself curled in a little ball as far as she could possibly be from me. I took my sleeping bag and spread it out more, to give a second layer for her sleeping mat that was clearly not doing a good enough job keeping the cold ground from sucking up all her heat. I tapped it, telling her to get on but she shyly stood still, probably not knowing what I was asking of her. So I picked her up and put her down on the sleeping bag. She stayed about 30 seconds before getting up and moving back to the corner. (Talk about insulting. She’d rather freeze than sleep beside me? I was certain I had put on deodorant, but then again, it was a long drive.)

I picked her up again and put her back, then pet her so she wouldn’t move, hoping she’d get a little warm and understand it’s better over here. It worked, but she was still shivering. So I unzipped my sleeping bag, wrapped what I could over myself, then took the bit of fabric left over and draped it over her. After a little while she was still shivering, and so was I. Nuts to this. I re-worked the sleeping gear, putting her mat on my sleeping pad, covered it with the sleeping bag, got in and zipped it up half way. I then lied on my side so there would be room for Nancy, grabbed her and put her right beside me and covered us both with the sleeping bag.

Well! She gave me this look that I can only describe as what someone would do when a date was being a little too forward, as if to say “Um… Yeah… I don’t think we’re really there yet.” It was polite, but clear. At this point she got up and went back to the corner of the tent. Then of course, she quickly went back to shivering.

“Fine!” I said, “let’s go.” I opened the tent, grabbed all the sleeping gear and made a crazy-cold dash towards the car. I setup up a rather uncomfortable bed in the backseat, with a little spot made up for the cold dog. It would be cramped, but I couldn’t bear the thought of her freezing on the cold ground. I don’t know if you’ve ever slept in a car, but it always seems like a better idea until you try it. When I finally found a comfortable sleeping position (legs hanging up by the window, neck twisted against the door), and saw that Nancy was comfortable in her little spot near my feet (or where they should have been), I finally dozed off. When I woke, I was pretty sore. Not a fun sleep. I was also a little annoyed, because there was Nancy, no longer in her spot, but in the front seat alone. I wonder how long she’d been up there by herself. For my own sanity, or maybe pride, I’ve chosen to believe shortly before I woke, being too hot from her comfy spot, she decided to cool down in the front. Yeah, that must be what happened.

Little did I know that only a short while later I would be complaining about a certain spotted someone always pushing up against me in bed. (Quiet complaining, mind you. Save for a few moments here and there, I wouldn’t have it any other way.)